What She Says and What She Means
by HopelessRomantic246
Summary: When discussing her feelings, what Mary says and what she means are often two very different things.
1. Prologue

Author's Note: Hi! I'm new to your section of the site. Most of what I've written was written about 10 years ago for Walker, Texas Ranger while the show was still on the air. Since then, I haven't really been inspired to write. However, a few weeks ago I was re-watching the second season episode "Rubble with a Cause" and this idea popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I'd written in down. So here I am. Although I have to say I probably wouldn't be here if not for moviemom44, who gave me the confidence to post this.

This story is going to consist of many short chapters, each dealing with something that Mary has said to Marshall in an episode. I have several of them written, but I am still adding more as I find new quotes to use.

I hope you enjoy this story, and I would love to hear from you if you felt like reviewing. I also would welcome suggestions of other quotes for me to write about.

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What She Says and What She Means

You have been told countless times that your partner is a bitch. You have been asked over and over again how you can stand working with her, day in, day out, for so many years. You have listened to criticism after criticism of your partner and best friend. You have been given sympathetic looks more times than you can count when she calls you a girl or says something insulting.

And you respond to it all in whatever way is necessary. You stare down those that criticize her or call her a bitch. You remind those who ask that she is the best Marshal in the service, and the best partner you could have. And you accept the sympathetic looks, all while holding back your smile. Because they don't get it. They don't get _her_. But you do.

When it comes to her work, she is very straightforward and direct. She couldn't care less about being tactful. She will say exactly what she means, and she will do exactly what she feels is right in every situation. The fact that she is so very direct and sure of herself is what leads to some of the misconceptions about what kind of person she is.

As soon as something personal comes up, however, she is insecure and unsure of herself and her decisions. She has trouble opening up to people, and even more trouble expressing her feelings. Even once she has allowed people into her heart, she cannot comfortably tell them what they mean to her. When discussing her feelings, what she says and what she means are often two very different things.

Through the years of partnership and friendship, you have developed the ability to hear what she means through what she says. You, and you alone, have the ability to translate her seemingly insensitive, harsh, or just plain crude statements into something meaningful that reflects her true feelings.

You remember quite clearly the first time you had an inkling that she meant something more than what she had just said implied.

It was your first case together, although really she was just on loan to you, and you were transporting your witnesses by car on a three day trip. You had stopped for gas and while she bought some snacks, you were cleaning the windshield of the car. When she returned, you ended up discussing your respective families, and you were surprised when she revealed something personal. However, you were unsurprised when, a moment later, she put down your reasons for joining Witsec and criticized your home and your life in general.

You looked at her cautiously, and said, "I do actually wonder what's wrong with you, but I don't actually want to know."

She had responded, "That is the first smart thing you've said."

And while the words she had spoken had been mostly insulting and only slightly complimentary, you noticed that she was looking at you differently, almost assessingly. Like she was reconsidering her initial opinion of you, and in a positive way, maybe deciding you deserved a little more respect from her.

And it seemed to you as though, perhaps, her statement had been meant as more of a compliment than you had initially heard in the words.

It still took a little while longer before you were able to hear exactly what she meant and not only what she said. But now you have perfected the ability. And what's more, she knows it. She knows that you understand her in a way no one else does, and she has allowed you to get closer to her than anyone else has since her father left. She has allowed you to hear what she means, when the rest of the world only hears what she says.


	2. Who Shot Jay Arnstein

-Who Shot Jay Arnstein-

She has spent countless hours by your bedside, both in the hospital and at your house. She has taken care of you. She has fretted over you, as much as she ever frets over anything. She has finally, under great duress, been forced to return to work. She has been busy, catching up with her work and also your own. She has not seen you since you have been cleared to return to work. She walks into the art gallery, and her eyes light up when she sees you.

What she says: "Well, well, look at you, all upright and not dead. And a matching sling even. Bet the ladies dig that."

What she means: "I am so incredibly glad to see you here. Seeing you pale and immobile in a hospital bed is something that I never want to witness again. You are supposed to stand tall and strong, and it is such a relief to see you that way again.

"I have never in my life been as scared as I was when I saw you get shot. And I have never felt so helpless as I did then. I was unable to get you to the help you needed or to do anything to save you, and for a while there, I was sure I was being forced to watch you die slowly in front of me.

"And even now, as you are standing before me, alive and apparently well, you wear a sling that reminds me that you are not entirely well. A sling that reminds me that you very nearly died, and I very nearly lost you. But at this moment, you are here, and I am happy and relieved and many other things that I cannot quite put a name to. Now, please, smile for me, and reassure me that you really are still with me."

And so you smile, and you turn her attention to the artwork on the wall, pointing out some fascinating facts about the paintings that you had learned while waiting for her to arrive. And you watch as she rolls her eyes at you, letting go of a little bit more of her worry and fear.


	3. To Serge with Love

Author's Note: Yesterday I forgot to say that I don't own Mary or Marshall or the quotes that are included in these chapters. The finale certainly would have ended differently if I did!

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. As I said before, I would love to hear your suggestions of other quotes to write about. Actually, I would just love to hear from you, even if you don't have a suggestion. Reviews really do make my day!

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-To Serge with Love-

She has copied the contents of _your_ witness's computer onto her USB drive. She has argued with you over her actions and fought like a couple of five year olds with you over the flash drive. She has inadvertently killed her computer, all in the name of trying to protect her witness. She has finally given up. She sits contemplatively at your desk, trying to convince herself that her instincts were wrong, and that it's okay that she has failed to break up the ill-conceived relationship between her witness and yours. She asks what you are doing.

You tell her then that you sent the flash drive to IT and are sorting through the information.

What she says: "I love you like an eight dollar whore."

What she means: "Thank you. Thank you so much for trusting me and my instincts, even if they run contrary to your own. I have never had anyone in my life who trusted me more than himself, and your friendship means so much to me. You know me well enough to know that I have trouble expressing my feelings. And while my statement may be somewhat crude, the sentiment is valid. I love you. I love you hard and fast and without much incentive. And I mean what I am saying in only the best possible way."

So you smile and reassure her that you have heard what she is trying to say. And you hold your tongue because you know that she is not ready to hear the words echoed back. Then, instead of offering her your love in return, you hand over a stack of paperwork.


	4. A Fine Meth

-A Fine Meth-

She has been drugged, kidnapped, and chained in a basement. She has watched as a man kneeling beside her was shot in the head. She has been nearly raped. She has killed a man tonight. She has eagerly agreed to let you drive her home. She has not cried.

What she says: Nothing. But she looks over at you, and she smiles softly.

What she means: "Thank you. Thank you for searching tirelessly for me. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for getting me out of that hellhole, and for lending me your strength when I had none left. But most of all, thank you for understanding my need for silence right now.

"I need some time to process everything that has happened, and I would fall apart if forced to talk about it now. I will need to talk to you at some point, but for this moment, this silence is exactly what I need.

"So, thank you for once again giving me exactly what I need."

And you think that in that instant as she smiles that vulnerable smile, covered in sweat and dirt and grime, she is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life. And you try to smile back as you swear to yourself that you will always do everything in your power to protect this woman and to give her whatever it is she needs.

Even something as simple as silence.


	5. Rubble with a Cause

-Rubble with a Cause-

She has spent the entire day protecting an injured witness in the middle of an unstable building that has been reduced to rubble. She has confronted a trained killer, who has a strong personal motive to kill her witness, who has shown up. She has now just talked that trained killer into confessing to his crimes on tape, by engaging him in a discussion about partnership. She has said things about you as her partner that are meaningful and special, and you will remember forever.

What she says: "Oh, and Marshall, for the record, I'd sell you out for a Twinkie."

What she means: "You know that I meant every word I just said. I will stand by you no matter what, and you are the only thing that gets me through each day. However, I know that you are surrounded by other people, and I am uncomfortable with them knowing how I really feel. I also know that you have been worried and anxious from the moment I entered this building, and it's killing you to not be at my side right now. So please, relax, smile, laugh - I am okay."

And so you smile, and you laugh, but you do not completely relax until you see her walk out of that building.


	6. Never the Bride

Author's Note: Here's a new one I wrote yesterday. Unfortunately, it's out of chronological order. I might eventually reshuffle all the chapters to put them in the order of the episodes on the show, but that will probably only be just before I post the last chapter so as not to be too confusing to everyone.

Thanks to those of you who have reviewed, or alerted, or favorited my story. It makes me feel like writing, and posting, more!

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-Never the Bride-

She has unwillingly become the maid of honor for her witness. She has been roped into attending her witness's bachelorette party. You have been roped into keeping an eye on things from the parking lot.

You call her over to talk to you when she arrives. The moment you see her in that dress all thoughts and knowledge and capacity for speech leave you. It's possible you curse, but you're not sure of anything except that you want her in a way you've never wanted anyone before in your life. You think you tell her she looks nice, although that word does nothing to describe how she looks at this moment.

You struggle to update her on the potential threats to her witness, all while trying valiantly to keep your eyes somewhere appropriate. Unfortunately, in that dress, nothing seems to actually be appropriate. So you look away from her.

She calls you on it immediately, demanding to know why you won't look at her. You stutter some sort of explanation, and almost groan out loud as she points out that it's not like she's naked. She quickly grows exasperated with you and gets ready to head in to the party.

What she says: "Good Lord. Watch the door, Pervis."

What she means: "I think that perhaps this party has been entirely worth it, if only for this moment. I have never seen you this uncomfortable, even when I was faking lesbian sex over the phone a few weeks ago. But something about this dress has you tongue-tied, and I'm finding that I like that I can have that effect on you. It makes me feel somehow powerful and more confident and sexy in a way I never have before.

"I've been uncomfortable since I put this dress on, and have been dreading this party all day. Now I feel like I can walk through that door with my head held high and deal with whatever I may find inside.

"I also eagerly look forward to teasing you mercilessly about this for years to come. So while I head inside, you stay out here and watch the door. But first, I fully expect you to watch me walk away."

You uncover your eyes as she turns to leave, and you watch her walk away from you, thanking God that she hardly ever wears dresses.


	7. High Priced Spread

Author's Note: Hey, all. So this is the last one I'm going to be able to post for a little while here. I'm going to be having surgery tomorrow and will be out of commission for at least a week. After that, though, I'll be back with more chapters. But now would be the perfect time for you all to send me a review or PM with suggestions of other quotes from any of the episodes in all three seasons. Of course, I wouldn't object if you wanted to review without the suggestions as well... :)

Anyway, here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

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-High Priced Spread-

She has been dealing with an issue with her first witnesses. She has gone against WitSec standard procedures to try to help them, because she cannot let go of her feeling of responsibility to them. She has discovered that one of the brothers is 'point shaving' to pay off his gambling debts. She has gone to confront him in the locker room before the basketball game begins. She asks one of his teammates where he is, and is upset when the boy calls her ma'am. You reassure her that he was looking down her shirt when he said it. She looks at you suspiciously.

What she says: "Why are you being so nice to me?"

What she means: "How is it possible that you know me so well? You have this way of paying me a compliment that makes me actually believe you mean it. You do not tell me that I am pretty. You tell me that everyone thinks I'm just a pretty face. And in that moment, I feel pretty.

"With everyone else in my life, compliments sound insincere and are usually met with frustration or even anger, and always with disbelief. I cannot tell you how many men have told me I'm sexy only to be met with a slap to the face, or if I'm being honest, a punch to the jaw or a knee to the groin. But you tell me that some college kid is looking down my shirt, and I feel sexier than I have since you couldn't look at me at Treena's bachelorette party.

"I have no idea how you figured out this backhanded way of paying me a compliment that allows me to actually believe it. I have no idea how you figured _me_ out to this extent. And while normally having someone know me this well might scare me, right now, I think I like it."

You smile and shrug, not offering an answer. Then when she isn't looking, you sneak a peek down her shirt. And when she turns back to you, you can tell she's wondering why you're smiling so very broadly, and you're glad that she can't read you quite as well as you can read her.


	8. One Night Stan

Author's Note: Well, I'm alive. That's the best thing I can say right now. So if anyone ever suggests sinus surgery to you, run the other way!

Thanks so much for the reviews! It was lovely to see them the first time I was feeling well enough to check the computer.

Anyway, here's another chapter. This is the only other chapter I have for the second season. I'm working on finding more, but I really know the first season much better than the second. This one's a little different from the others, because Mary is talking to Stan, not to Marshall. I hope you like it.

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-One Night Stan-

She has been single-minded in her pursuit of the truth of what had happened to Stan's first witnesses. She has learned things she never would have expected about her boss, a man that you know means a great deal to her, just as he does to you. She is afraid, and willing to do anything to keep from losing him, even talking to his old boss without his permission. When he learns of the unauthorized visit, he questions the reasons for her actions.

What she says: "Because, if you go to jail, he becomes my boss, and then I have to kill myself."

What she means: "I will do whatever I have to do to keep you from going to jail, and I will not apologize for it. You are the closest thing I have to a father, and I will not lose you like I lost him. I am afraid that if I lose you, I will be irreparably broken.

"Also, if Marshall becomes my boss, then he will no longer be my partner. And we all know that I need him as my partner. I have never been able to work with anyone else, and I never will be able to. I also would never even be willing to try. He is my partner, and I am his, and that is never going to change.

"So let me help you, because I will not lose you, and I will not lose him."

And while you act affronted, you agree wholeheartedly with her assessment. Losing Stan would be hard on you as well, and becoming her boss would be as terrible for you as it would be for her. Because you need her as a partner just as much as she needs you.


	9. Pilot

Author's Note: Okay, so now, when I've already written and posted seven chapters that come chronologically after the pilot, now is when I'm finally inspired to write one for the pilot! And I think that there just might be one for Trojan Horst next. I'm sorry that these are jumping around so much, but I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway... Oh and it's completely unbetaed so please forgive me for any typos I may have missed.

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-Pilot-

She has been in a terrible mood all day. She has had an argument with her sister. She has picked up a new witness, one who is completely innocent of all wrongdoing and very upset at the upheaval in her life. She has never been very good at dealing with that particular combination. She has now been called to the possible murder scene of the child of one of her witnesses.

She has been in a terrible mood all day, and the day has only just begun, and only continues to get worse. You know she's always like this on her birthday, and you know that acknowledging the day would only make it worse. This lesson you learned really well five years ago to the day, and you have never made the same mistake again.

It took you a few more years to understand why gifts were an equally big mistake. But now you know that they make her uncomfortable, and more than that, you know why. The more perfect for her and appropriate the gift, the more uncomfortable it makes her. Because she's no good at buying gifts, no matter how well she knows you. And having anything uneven or unequal in a relationship makes her extremely uncomfortable.

Fortunately, you have also learned the solution to this problem years ago as well. With her, actions speak louder than words. And actions mean a hell of a lot more to her than a gift. So you don't say a word about her birthday unless she brings it up, and you don't buy her a gift. Instead, you do things for her. Paperwork, research, whatever she needs.

Today, you stick your phone out of the car window and pretend not to hear Stan's order to drop off the new witness at her apartment before going to the crime scene. You tell a joke that she doesn't laugh at when you step out of the car. You then ask if you should call her mother to cancel her surprise birthday party.

What she says: "If you were any kind of friend, you would have done it a long time ago."

What she means: "If you were just any kind of friend, you would have had my party canceled ages ago. The problem with you is that you're not just any kind of friend. You're not the kind of friend who wants for me whatever I want for myself, just because it's what I want. No, it's far worse than that. You're the kind of friend who wants for me whatever you think is best for me, whether I want it or not.

"And you're fully convinced that a party would be good for me right now. Why you came to that conclusion I will never know, but the one thing I do know is that there's nothing that I can do to change your mind at this point. I also know that as much as I may complain, and be critical of you at times, I am very glad to have you as a friend. And not just any kind of friend, but the one and only, and best kind. So if you think a party will be good for me, I will go. But only if you are by my side, and only if I get to bitch and moan and whine and complain to you the entire time."

You know that you won't call Jinx to cancel the party, and you know she knows you won't. But you will help her investigate this murder, and you will do it with minimal complaining. Because this is your gift to her on her birthday. And you know it, and she knows it, but she would still think something was wrong with you if you didn't complain just a little.


	10. Trojan Horst

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Since I last posted, I have moved, started graduate school, and discovered fleas in my new apartment. So between vacuuming five times a day, going to my six hour classes, and trying to get a little bit more moved in, I have had absolutely no time to write. But lucky for you, I found this one sitting already written on my computer.

This chapter is a little bit different. Not quite as happy or nice or sweet. But of course, the quote that I chose to work with here comes at a point in Mary and Marshall's relationship that isn't happy or nice or sweet. I want to point out that I deliberately misquoted Mary in this one. In Trojan Horst, Mary refers to putting up with Marshall for the past three years. Of course, given what we now know from "When Mary Met Marshall" that should actually be five years, at least by my count. So I swapped the three for a five.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I promise that the return to happy and nice and sweet chapters is imminent. I also would _love_ any reviews you might feel like sending my way. It hasn't exactly been an easy few weeks, and Thursday is my birthday. And each review you guys wrote would be like a little birthday present to me!

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-Trojan Horst-

She has found your letter. She has read your letter. She has learned from a letter of your job offer. She has learned from _a letter_ that you might be leaving her. She has not reacted well. She has been snide and snippy. She has given you the silent treatment. She has ignored your attempts to figure out what is bothering her. She has finally, very calmly and casually, said that it won't matter, because soon you won't even be working together.

Admittedly, you don't respond very well. You have actually known that she has a tendency to read your mail. And if you're truthful, you were hoping that this would happen. If she reads a letter on your desk, you never have to say the words to her. You never have to figure out the right words to say to tell your best friend you're leaving her. Because there really are no right words, not for this situation.

But, you're not truthful. You act affronted at the invasion of your privacy. You are critical of her in front of the new witness you are supposed to transport. She refers to herself as the injured party, but you cannot deal with that word, with the idea that you have injured her. So instead you focus in on her request for some respect, a not unreasonable request. However, you go on the offensive and demand to know when she has ever shown you any respect, knowing that you are baiting her. Knowing that, given how upset she is, it will be easy to get her to say something nasty and hurtful to you. Something that might make the decision you have been contemplating a little easier on you.

And you are right. She easily throws it back in your face, stating for all the world to hear that if you ever did anything worth her respect, she would gladly show it to you. And you have what you need. An excuse to offer her, right here and now, for why you haven't told her. You point that out to her, asking if she actually wonders why you haven't shared your future plans with her.

What she says: "No, what I wonder is why I put up with your insipid running commentary for the past five years."

What she means: "Yes! I wonder why you haven't told me about your future plans. I wonder why you let me find out about this in this way. I wonder why you're thinking about leaving. I wonder what I did wrong. I wonder what I did to finally drive you away.

"Because I thought that you were the one person in my life that I could count on. I thought you were the one person who actually understood me. I thought you were the one person in my life who wouldn't leave. Apparently, though, I thought wrong. But I still don't understand why. I still don't know why you're leaving.

"All I do know is that I'm hurt and I'm scared. And I haven't felt this vulnerable since I was seven and I realized that Daddy wasn't coming back. And I hate myself for letting this happen again. I hate myself for letting you in and for trusting you so much. And I desperately want to hate you, but I can't. Because despite the fact that you are leaving, you are still my best friend. You are still my only friend. So I cannot hate you. But I can give you the silent treatment. I can pretend I don't care. I can lash out at you. I can turn my hurt and my fear into anger. I can do that, and I will, because it is the only way I know how to get through this day.

"So keep on baiting me, and I'll keep on lashing out. And we'll both feel just as miserable, but we'll pretend it makes us feel better. You'll pretend to be just as mad at me as I am pretending to be at you. And I'll pretend that I'm not dying inside. And one way or another, we'll live through this day and we'll make it to tomorrow.

"And by then, maybe you'll be ready to explain, and I'll be ready to listen. And at least then I won't still have to wonder why. Why? Why are you leaving me?"

You hear the hurt, the fear, the vulnerability through her words. You see the question in her eyes as you stare at her. You try to maintain your false anger. You try to believe her anger is real. You try to believe that you haven't just hurt her deeply. But you can't quite manage it. Deep inside, you know exactly what you have done and you know exactly how she is feeling. But you also can't quite deal with that. So you continue to pretend, at least for now. You glare, you trade insults, you manhandle the witness. And you pretend that you aren't mentally beating yourself up and asking yourself the exact same question she's asking. Why? Why are you even thinking about leaving her?


	11. Love's Faber Lost

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Well the good news is that the first quarter has officially ended and I'm still alive! The not so good news is that the next quarter starts right after Thanksgiving and it promises to be even harder. Oh well, at least I have a new chapter or two to post for you guys during break!

Thank you to all of you who reviewed the previous chapter. I'm sorry I was unable to respond individually, but your comments all mean a lot to me. Please feel free to review this chapter and let me know that you're still out there reading this.

Anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy.

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-Love's Faber Lost-

She has been surprised by the presence of FBI Agent Mike Faber's presence in the office. She has been ignoring his phone calls, and trying to keep their interactions completely professional, much to your relief and his dismay.

She pretends she is not upset when you inform her of your orders that will keep you away for eight to ten days. She tries to dismiss your concerns over Faber's presence, and looks at you like you are insane when you try to say goodbye like normal people might.

What she says: "You owe me nine dollars for lunch last week, so don't get shot and die."

What she means: "Please be careful while you're gone. I hate when they send you somewhere without me where I can't watch your back. At least if I were going with you, I would know you'd be okay. When we're together, we're unstoppable.

"And as much as I may dismiss your concerns, I would feel better about having you here with me while Faber is around. When you are by my side, I make better decisions in my personal life. I know that I am a mess, and I fear that by the time you're back, I may have given in and allowed something to happen with Faber. Not because I have any desire for the man, but because I have never been good at being completely alone. With you here, I am not alone. With you here, I am better. With you here, I am stronger.

"So, please, come back quickly. And don't get shot and die."

You tell her you'll do your best and head out the door, determined to return to her as quickly as possible.


	12. Son of Mann

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews of the previous chapter. It's great to know you guys are still enjoying this.

The new quarter is starting to get pretty intense, so I'm not going to make any promises, but I will try to get one more up in the coming weeks. If not, then I promise to have one up during Christmas break.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and would love to hear from you if you felt like reviewing!

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-Son of Mann-

She has saved your father's life. He has been nothing but arrogant, judgmental, and generally unpleasant for most of his visit. He has caused problem after problem with your witnesses. She has, in what some would call atypical behavior, been nothing but respectful, even when disagreeing with him. And now, she has saved his life. You may not have any idea how to thank her for doing something so significant, but you try anyway.

What she says: "Come on. We both know he would have caught that bullet between his teeth. How did a man like him end up with a son that says 'hullabaloo' anyway?"  
What she means: "You are welcome. While I know that you do not always get along with your father, I know that you love him very much. And as long as it is within my power to do so, I will do anything to keep you from experiencing the pain of losing your father.

"I also realize that you are feeling judged and criticized and put down. You are nothing like your father, and that is a good thing. The things that make you different from him are precisely the things that make you great at this job. You are wise and sensitive and goofy, and I would not trade you as my partner, or my friend, for anything."

You smile in response, knowing that she knows you better than anyone in the world. And that somehow makes it okay that your father generally doesn't get you, because she does.


	13. Death Becomes Her

Author's Note: Well, okay so the last time I posted was almost 2 years ago, and that's completely unforgivable. But I've recently ended up with more time on my hands, and am feeling a need to write - especially for In Plain Sight since it has now ended... and not in the way I wanted it to. So if anyone has a suggestion for a quote from an episode that I haven't done yet, I would love to hear them! I do intend to do a chapter for the finale, but that will be the last chapter in this story, so I am not quite ready for that one yet.

Anyway, here's another chapter. If there's anyone out there still reading this, then I hope you enjoy it.

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-Death Becomes Her-

She has a new witness. One who is levelheaded, funny, smart, and no trouble whatsoever. The kind of person she would be friends with. Unfortunately, her new witness is also dying. She has been looking for information on an old witness to help keep her in the program. Information you provide for her.

What she says: "Oh, praise Jesus, you have no life."

What she means: "I am very glad you were able to remember this case. I can hardly believe the sheer amount of information you are able to keep in that brain of yours. I may tease you endlessly about it, but I am grateful you have such a remarkable memory and are so well-read. It has helped us to protect our witnesses on many occasions, and even helped save your own life when you were shot. And I also end up learning a great deal of, admittedly mostly useless, information from you. However, right now, this information is exactly what I need to help my witness, whom we both know I care about more than I should.

"On a side note, I am also genuinely glad that you have no real social life, because then I would have to get one of my own. And art shows are really only fun when you drag me to them, you geek."

You watch her walk away and turn back to your computer on which your witness's painting is still displayed. You realize it has been a while since you last went to an art show, and you both did have so much fun when you dragged her to that last one. Maybe you should see what shows are open this weekend.


	14. Don of the Dead

Author's Note: Wow, look at that! Another new chapter and only, what, a little more than a month later? I'm on a roll!

Anyway, thanks to those of you who reviewed! It's really nice to know people are still out there reading this! I hope you enjoy this new chapter, and I will try to post something else soon.

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-Don of the Dead-

She has been told that one of her witnesses has been killed. You know that she is upset, although she isn't good at showing it. As you approach the scene of the accident, she makes a comment about what a good, selfless person her witness was. And you reply by informing her that Ayn Rand's central thesis posited selflessness as antithetical to human good. She stops and stares consideringly at you for a moment, and you know that you have succeeded in your goal of distracting her from her worries, if only momentarily.

What she says: "A hundred bucks says you die a lonely old man."

What she means: "I really do think you will die a lonely old man. Unfortunately, I won't be around to collect on the bet. You will be old - because I won't allow anything to happen to you until then. You will be lonely - because I will already be gone.

"One day, when we're both old and gray, something will happen to you. You will fall and break a hip, or you will get sick. Whatever it is that happens, it will scare me and I will react with anger. You will see through me and for the millionth time in our lives, you will ask me what I need. And I will tell you that I need you to allow me to die first. And you will agree, because we both know that I would not be able to deal with losing you.

"So I will go first, and you will be lonely. No matter how many friends and family members you have around you, without me, you will be lonely, because we are too much a part of each other to not be. And if you keep making all these obscure references to people and things that nobody but you either cares about or has ever heard of, using vocabulary that screams 'I got an 800 on the SAT Verbal', you probably never will have any other friends but me."

You don't argue with her, because you know that what she has said is true: you will die a lonely old man. But that's fine with you, just as long as you get to spend the majority of the intervening time with her.


End file.
